The Cooking Critic

Macaroni and cheese isn’t something I’d typically serve as a meal to a friend, but Shahan Sannossian caught me on a strange day. I had planned on making him a homemade tomato soup, but my stomach was bothering me and didn’t like the thought of a meal composed nearly entirely of acidic tomatoes. My stomach much preferred the thought of the always-comforting mac and cheese. Of course, you can’t just dump a box of macaroni in a boiling water and call it dinner (at least when company is involved), so I figured out a way to make it presentable.

I used Trader Joe’s Aged White Cheddar Macaroni and Cheese for my Fancified Macaroni and Cheese and included prosciutto, cooked spinach, white asparagus (though green asparagus is prettier and broccoli also works well), tomatoes, bread crumbs and cheese—I used white cheddar on one effort and Asiago on a second. And I’m going to include this in the vegetarian category since it’s easy enought to leave out the prosciutto. The recipe looks long, but that’s only because I have instructions for deseeding and deskinning tomatoes in there, which is not nearly as laborious at it sounds but does take a small paragraph to explain. Be sure to add or subtract any ingredient that suits your fancy.

Assessment: I can’t really assess the Trader Joe’s product on its own since I always add a ton of stuff to it, but it makes a great base for my Fancified Macaroni and Cheese. Shahan liked it and said he would even make it himself. And he’s a boy. Everyone knows that boys don’t cook, so that’s a solid endorsement. I’d like to thank the Academy and Williams-Sonoma Simple Recipes for the inspiration.

Dill Dip isn’t the most memorable food. People eat it with their veggies, enjoy it, but it’s not as if a few days later they’re telling someone, “I had the most amazing Dill Dip the other day.” Dill Dip is doomed to live a life in the shadow of the preferred Ranch Dressing. Such a shame, because Dill Dip is infinitely more interesting and complex than Ranch Dressing. Ranch Dressing may be the head cheerleader and Homecoming Queen of the dip world, but Dill Dip will end up going much further in life.

Assessment: So easy, so good. Besides serving with vegetables, you can smear this on a BLT, or create a tuna salad sandwich with it.

Most people bring beer to poker night. I bring brownies. But not just any brownies, made from scratch Foster’s Brownies. I’m opposed to brownies from a box, though I’m an avid fan of making cakes from the box. Please don’t ask me to explain this contradiction.

So when you make these brownies, instead of the usually grainy blend, it will be light and fluffy and exciting and will taste as good as chocolate chip cookie batter, I swear. I realize this is not a normal thing to get excited about. I ask that the Peanut Gallery please refrain from making comments, unless they want to make comments about how amazing these brownies are, and in that case, go on ahead. I like to cut the brownies up into large squares then half them diagonally so they look like small pie wedges, then create complicated brownie architecture with them, then dust them with powdered sugar since powdered sugar makes everything look prettier. Perhaps I should dust myself with powdered sugar.

Adjustment: Left out the nuts for those with nut allergies and ran out of vanilla extract and supplemented with Kahlúa. Sarah Kate Levy’s mother once told her (and then SKL told me) that booze was a good substitute for vanilla extract. You have no idea how many times I have thanked them both in my head for this knowledge.

Assessment: So I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised by this, but people love brownies. I brought a plate of them over for poker night, and there was one left at the end of the evening, and that was only because no one ever wants to take the last one. To me, though they did somehow manage to be both light and fudgey (no small feat), these tasted a lot like brownies, nothing outstandingly special. I’m not sure the resulting homemade brownie warranted the extra time in the kitchen—though, granted, they weren’t that difficult. Everyone else who ate these vehemently disagreed with me. They think my spending extra time on brownies is perfectly acceptable when they get to eat a better product. I should probably admit here that I’m not the biggest brownie lover in the world, and my opinion on brownies should be taken with a grain of salt. I simply can’t explain why I feel compelled to make them on occasion. But if I were to make brownies again (and inevitably I will), I’ll opt for the Junior League’s brownies made with melted baking chocolate instead of cocoa like these were—when I get around to making their version again, I’ll post that recipe. Unless the world most absolutely have this particular recipe, and then I may oblige.

I think bananas become overripe out of spite. They’re only good for a couple days, and then you have to figure out what to do with them now. I usually freeze them and make banana smoothies, but my blender is on the blink (nothing works in my house!), so I had to find something else to do with my overripe bananas. Banana-Oatmeal Power Cookies showed me the light.

What I especially like about these cookies is you can trick yourself into thinking you’re eating something healthy. In the cookbook, they even suggest you take them on a hike. If that doesn’t imply healthiness, I don’t know what does.

Adjustments: I’ve made them just as the recipe tells me to, and they are delicious that way, but I made some adjustments this time because I didn’t have all the ingredients in my pantry. Instructions to include unsalted butter are flat-out ignored nearly every time. I know it’s fresher and less salty, but lightly salted butter is a permanent fixture in my house, so I generally go with what I have. Coconut got omitted, walnuts became pecans, dried apricots or raisins were dried cranberries. I might prefer that last substitution and permanently replace raisins with cranberries for these cookies and every other food always. Dried cranberries are tart and wonderful. Raisins are sugary and terrible. Everybody knows it.

Assessment: I usually don’t like my cookies chock full of stuff, but I like these. Everyone likes these. They’re sort of like a chewy, more interesting banana bread if banana bread decided to turn itself into a cookie.

Tim McKeon asked me the other day what my favorite meal was. I replied that was like asking which is your favorite child. He seemed to think both were legitimate questions. So I told him, I’m really into making Cream of Celery Soup these days. He nodded, said nothing, then turned around and started speaking to someone else. I think he was disappointed with my answer.

This recipe was made only because of the extra celery in my refrigerator one day, and I tell you, celery will never go bad in my house again. I want to jump up and down with joy when I realize I have enough celery left over to make this soup. No. Really.

Adjustments: I got this Cream of Celery Soup recipe online (hit the link and scroll down till you spot it), and the fellow who posted this version credits Joy of Cooking for the inspiration. The recipe doesn’t say to heat the soup up after adding the milk, cornstarch and cream, but you need to, so it will thicken and be warm. I assume everyone wants their soup warm. Also, a healthy dose of salt makes it taste good.

Assessment: I love it. And so do Mom and Dad. It’s easy too. But I’m afraid my picture won’t help enliven Cream of Celery Soup’s undeserved boring reputation, but I’m posting the pic anyways.

I love Beauty and the Geek, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Well, maybe I’m a little ashamed. But I actually planned an evening around it recently when I told Brandon that I would deliver a homemade dinner to him on Thursday. That way Brandon could be rewarded for his techy support, and I could watch this fine program without the fuzziness of my cable-less television.

Sadly, I wasn’t at the top of my game with this particular effort. I got going a little late, and then cutting up two and a half pounds of onions was a much longer experience than anticipated; nothing like preparing dinner while tears stream down your face. I also totally flaked on dessert. Sorry, Brandon! There’s a dessert in your future, man, I promise!

Assessment: Despite Beef Stew with Carmelized Onions and Amber Lager’s fancy name, it tastes a lot like any beef stew you’ve had before. It’s good, but nothing to shout about. But if I’m in the mood for beef stew, I may make it again. And according to the picture in the book, this stew is supposed to be served on a plate next to a green substance instead of in a bowl. This particular version did not call for potatoes. Brandon missed them. I did not.

I don’t know who Carol Harper is, but she happens to makes a darn good cookie. Being valentine-less this year, I joined a group of girls for a rollicking evening of flirtinis (a champagne, pineapple juice concoction), hors d’oeuvres and Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit. The police showed up too. Yes, we got busted for playing Trivial Pursuit loudly. It was pretty awesome.

What I like about Carol Harper’s Valentine Cookies, besides the long name, is that they don’t add on extra hours to the process by requiring refrigeration, like most sugar cookies. Especially helpful when you decide two hours before a party you want to contribute Valentine-themed baked goods. And really, who needs men when you have iced cookies?

Adjustments: I didn’t have red food coloring and neither did the corner market down the street, but they did have red sprinkles for some reason. So that helped make the cookies appropriately festive. And everybody loves sprinkles.

Assessment: I really like these. Everyone else seemed to as well. They aren’t true sugar cookies—they’re more fluffy and delicate—and butter cream icing is always wonderful.

I’ve been seduced by polenta’s fancy Italian ways. Don’t tell grits since they’re really no different than polenta. Grits will be hurt. We grew up in the same place after all.

Actually, it’s not so much that I’ve been seduced by polenta as that I now have a box of instant polenta in my cupboard that I feel the need to use. So I determined I’d make Grilled Polenta, and Grilled Polenta told me it should be eaten with Grilled Lime-Cilantro Chicken with Tomatillo Salsa, so I obeyed.

Adjustments: Even though both of these dishes have the word “grilled” in their title, I didn’t grill them since I don’t own a grill. I fried the polenta instead, which broke apart and looked more like funnel cake in the end. And who honestly has time to make a tomatillo salsa when they have two other dishes to make from scratch? I used the regular ole salsa that I already had, and it worked.

Assessment: I ate the polenta as a main dish porridge/vegetarian meal one night and had no real thoughts on it but liked it quite a bit a couple nights later fried up and paired with the chicken. Turned out Polenta was right, it does taste good with this chicken dish. And two thumbs up for the chicken recipe, which consists of a zingy, tasty, easy marinade, yay!

Maybe everyone else in the world eats eggs and pasta together all the time–and I’m not talking about egg noodles, but honest to goodness scrambled eggs mixed in with pasta. I was pretty shocked when Danielle McKeon (formerly Danielle Roberts) ordered this dish at a brunch at Hugo’s (called Pasta Mama there and elsewhere. You may encounter Pasta Papas too.) Not because Danielle ordered it, but because I’d never heard of such a thing before in all my life–I blame my Tennessee upbringing but not my parents who can hardly introduce me to something they’ve never encountered themselves. Mom, Dad, you ever hear of eating eggs and pasta together? It’s crazy.

Soon after I was listlessly wandering around my kitchen wondering what I could make that would satisfy my gabby stomach and not take too much time, and I ran across this simple recipe for Eggs with Pecorina and Black Pepper. Pecorina’s a cheese by the way, sort of like Parmesan. So I cooked the dish, ate it, liked it.

Adjustments: I go ahead and scramble the eggs on their own rather than cooking them with the already cooked pasta so they retain creaminess. Creamy eggs weird me out. And when I don’t have pecorina cheese (and I usually don’t), I use Parmesan. Sometimes I toss in some fresh basil shreds too.

Assessment: Hearty and satisfying. Breakfast and dinner together in one bowl!

Canned tuna smells funny. Let’s just get that out of the way up front. I always feel a little guilty when I eat a tuna sandwich in front of other people because then I have to subject them to the smell, and that seems unfair.

So like many foods in my life, I started off with anti-tuna feelings, and now I see I was wrong. Very very wrong. This version of the Tuna Sandwich is made with olive oil, white wine vinegar and garlic instead of mayo, which makes me feel healthy and smart when I eat it. And I love feeling healthy and smart.

Honestly, you should buy Nigel Slater’s Real Fast Food for his commentary as much as the recipes. Here’s his description of this sandwich: “even in the depths of winter it can remind me of summer.” I hear you, Nigel. And he says the ingredients are based “on the classic Pan Bagna.” I’m sure we all know what that means.

Adjustments: I didn’t have the red bell pepper, anchovy fillets or black olives that the recipe calls for, and this sandwich was still good.

Assessments: I’ve eaten three of these sandwiches in a week’s time. It’s madness! For some reason, it’s become the only food that makes sense to eat after running. And I think I ate a bug today while running. The tuna sandwich tasted better.