Guac Bowl season is upon us! (Please see this link to last year’s competition if you have no idea what I’m talking about.) My L.A. friends are thinking only of guac these days as we contemplate puns, secret ingredients and ridiculous contraptions for our guacamole entries in the fiercest guacamole competition this side of the Mississippi, or perhaps, the world!

I’m going for my fourth win–I believe I hold the record at three, but I’m sure I’ll be corrected if I’m wrong. I would say I’m going for my fourth and fifth win except that I’ve opted for a pretty presentation that actually looks like something you’d want to eat (yes, yes, I know–I’m so predictable), so I imagine there’s no way I can win best presentation. I fully expect best presentation to go to a full-size float made of guac. Somebody has got to be planning one.

Here’s my winning entry from last year.

mine.jpg

And can I just complain a bit about the price of avocados these days? Not to mention the unfortunate taste and texture of them! I bought a little bag of Trader Joe’s avocados, and it took a week and a half before they were soft enough to cut open. And even then they were weird and rubbery, and I had to throw them out. I will pray every night this week for soft, tasty avocados come Guac Bowl day. And I will give all my competitors a tip out of the kindness of my heart: Buy your avocados very soon, if you haven’t already, and fold them up in a brown bag to help them ripen. Don’t put them in a plastic bag, as I stupidly did one year–I only succeeded in suffocating them. Who knew you can suffocate avocados? Also, an fyi, according to The New Food Lover’s Companion: “It is not true that burying the avocado pit in the guacamole helps to maintain good color.” So douse your guacs in citrus, people! It gives it that beautiful green glow!
How did this entry turning into me passing valuable information on to my competitors when I was planning to talk trash the entire time? I do not know.