The Cooking Critic

If you take a look at my last few posts, you’ll see I’ve been subsisting on cheese, brunch foods and dessert. I suspect my recent eating habits don’t make for a well-balanced diet. As much as I wish brunch foods and desserts had their own little slot on the food pyramid, it’s probably best they don’t. I blame my food intake for my feelings of sluggishness and general ickiness and determined it was high time I ate a salad.

Evidently the universe thought I should eat a salad too because the cosmos aligned so that I rediscovered a Broiled Shrimp and Spinach Salad recipe and happened to have all the ingredients already in my kitchen, surprisingly since shrimp, green beans and fresh dill are not normally staples for me. Therefore, I declare Broiled Shrimp and Spinach Salad a small miracle.

I went about chopping green onions and squeezing lemon with high hopes for this salad. I suspected it would be exactly what I needed to combat the ill effects of my recent sugar overdose and taste fabulous. But immediately after thinking this, I determined I just jinxed my salad. There was no way it could live up to my unreasonable expectations since I do, in fact, have a habit of anticipating far more amazing things than is really fair for the object of my expectations. (Movies and boys are routine disappointments because of this.) But, I needn’t have worried–my expectations were met. The shrimp makes this salad substantial, the green beans add just the right crunch (had I not slightly overcooked them), the lemony dressing is zippy but balanced by the fresh dill. In short, happiness is a Broiled Shrimp and Spinach Salad.

Adjustments: I used cooked, frozen shrimp instead of cooking raw shrimp. So basically, I didn’t broil the shrimp for Broiled Shrimp and Spinach Salad. But this cuts the work you have to do in half (especially nice when your throwing this together for lunch, as I did.) It also means your eating a cold salad instead of a warm one, but that’s fine by me. Also, I added more lemon juice to the dressing.

Assessment: I am completely charmed by this salad and plan on having it again for lunch tomorrow. I wish I hadn’t halved the dressing recipe because I will want this salad again later in the week and will have to make the dressing again. Not that it was any trouble at all. The whole dish was easy, elegant and wonderful. If only life were like Broiled Shrimp and Spinach Salad.

I think Polenta is a little full of himself. Just because he has a better PR agent than grits doesn’t make him any better than other ground corn products. But I surprised myself the other day when I nearly spontaneously decided to make some polenta. I wanted something hearty and comforting. I never thought of polenta as comforting before, but here I am calling him up after ignoring him for so long. Polenta with Parmesan Cheese, I’m sorry. You have a lot of good qualities. No, I’m not just really bored right now. We can still be friends. (Relationships are so complicated.)

So Williams-Sonoma supplied the recipe for this one, and because Williams-Sonoma is sort of a fancypants, he recommended using regular polenta and stirring it for hours (okay, just 25 minutes, but that’s a long time!) I was not into this recommendation. I ignored Williams-Sonoma and decided to use instant polenta instead. I’m sure the real thing tastes better, but I had a complete meal in roughly 10 minutes, and that’s worth something too. (My polenta looks a little bit like an egg experiment gone awry, no?)

Adjustments: Initially, I cooked according to the instructions on the instant polenta box, then switched to Williams-Sonoma for the extras. And per usual, I substituted Parmesan with Asiago. I always return Asiago calls. He’s so dreamy.

Assessment: Satisfying, but it tasted a lot like grits to me, as it should since polenta and grits are essentially the same thing (corn!) It seemed a little strange eating asparagus with my grits…er, I mean polenta, but not in a bad way. I like the idea of adding mushrooms, as Williams-Sonoma suggests in another recipe. I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up making this dish again. And look at the adorable wine glasses my landpeople/landcouple gave me. (What’s the plural of landlord when it involves two people of different genders? Anyone?)

The sick person’s soup series continues. Though clearly, I’m not all that sick. If I were, I’d be on the couch watching TV all day like any normal person instead of in the kitchen making a ridiculous amount of soups. Speaking of soup, here’s a good reason to make this one: you put wine in the chicken broth. Wine tastes good, so it makes your Spinach and Rice Soup taste good too. Bogle’s Sauvignon Blanc is a good not-expensive-but-stlll-nice-tasting dry white perfect for cooking (and sipping while you cook.) And here’s a solid endorsement for this soup: I have returned home from a long day and decided to make this dish last minute, and it was created in a completely reasonable amount of time with ingredients I usually have in the house (if you leave out the chick peas.)

Adjustments: No to chick peas! Actually, feel free to say yes to chick peas, but they turn this from a quick meal into an over two-hour long endeavor. So join me in my fight against chick peas! And vegetarians—you guys should use vegetable broth instead of chicken broth. (Sorry for the washed-out photo!)

Assessment: I’ve made this soup countless times, so clearly I like it. Good flavor. Suitable for a sick or well person.

When a person subsists on soup and ice cream alone, do you gain weight or lose? It’s an important questions, folks, and I’d like to answer it for you. I’ve been conducting this experiment and using myself as the guinea pig. The soups have been plentiful—just scroll down and see. The ice cream has come in pints and consisted of Hagen-Daaz Strawberry (so-so, I love their vanilla, but the corner market was out) and Ben & Jerry’s Mint Cookies and Cream (the best ice cream on earth.) Besides the soup and ice cream, a scale would be useful. I, sadly, don’t have one, so eyeing myself in the mirror will have to substitute. Hmmm, so, I look the same weight to me. My pants fit the same too. My conclusion: I’m the exact same weight. So I guess the ice cream and soup cancelled each other out. I should say I did exercise a bit—I wasn’t completely incapacitated. But my exercise consisted of walking three miles at a pace that may be best described as “leisurely,” although I eventually worked my way up to “nearly brisk” as I got less sick those last couple of  days.

Oh yeah, so the Chicken Soup with Celery and Lemon. It combines two of the best sick people ingredients ever: chicken broth and lemon juice. You know what else tastes good? Celery leaves. I’m serious. And I just discovered 1 part lemon juice to 2 parts honey is a soothing, homemade cough syrup! And it tastes far better than Robitussin. I have the whooping cough, by the way, or maybe TB, which Maggie claims I gave to her. Actually, I think I just have a cold, but I find drama is best when you’re sick. What do you have, if you don’t have people’s sympathy?

Adjustments: I put this in the “(Relatively) Easy” category despite some debate. It’s easy when you already have cooked chicken on hand, like I did, and you don’t have to cook it 45 minutes in the broth. Also, rather than making a bouquet garni, I just let the herbs float around in the broth completely unsupervised since I didn’t have any kitchen string on me. And, as always, unsalted butter was replaced by salted.

Assessment: Brothy, soothing, citrusy. Perfect for when you’re feeling under the weather, but I’m curious to see what I think of it on a well day.