The Cooking Critic

I love my new air conditioner. Love it love it love it. It is my favorite thing right now (I love it even more than my new white dress that I got from H & M), and it was a long time coming. I ordered my air conditioner online in July of 2005 from evil Wal-Mart, paid far more than I intended once shipping and tax were added, and it didn’t show up until September when summer was over, and I had no use for it. I called Wal-Mart, full of self-righteousness and the knowledge that shipping a seasonal product to a person when the season is over is clearly wrong, and they should make amends.

They felt differently.

They only offered me a measly $20 discount, which they never made good on. And while I’ve heard all sorts of horror tales about Wal-Mart from the book Nickel & Dimed and the movie Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, I felt a little more outraged when it affected me personally. (That’s normal, right?) Therefore, all people should boycott Wal-Mart, if not for their general evilness, then for me and my tale of un-air-conditioned woe and sorrow!

So, anyhoo, the air conditioner was stored in my garage that September and was finally brought out of hiding when its services were needed last month. It should have been released from hibernation earlier, but previously when I opened up the box the air conditioner came in, I found its size and booklet of instructions very intimidating, so I kept putting off its installation. It took an outrageous heat wave and the help of my friend Rob to bring to fruition what should have taken place a year ago when I first ordered the damn thing.

I made Banana Bread after the air conditioner was installed simply because I can (also because I owed Rob an edible thank you, and I needed to make a July breakfast item for my blog.) The oven was on, the air conditioner was pumping, and I felt cool as can be … whenever I was in my bedroom anyways. My air conditioner doesn’t quite pump enough to cool as many square inches as it claims to on its box. But if I strategically place three fans throughout the house to push the cool air into various areas, you can almost feel a difference. And sleeping is way easier in a cool, air-conditioned bedroom than in a hot, muggy one.

Assessment: I’ve made and enjoyed many banana breads in my day, and I’ve determined that this one from the Junior League cookbook is the best. I don’t say that lightly. And since topping always makes bread taste better, I added a Streusel Topping from Family Circle. I blame the heat for the fact may streusel melded and never reached crumbly status when I mixed it together with a fork. My technique could also be at fault, but I prefer to blame the heat (and Wal-Mart too while I’m at it–why not? I’m sure I could think of a way to blame Wal-Mart for my banana bread inadequacies if I thought about it long enough.)

Also, did you know boys love banana bread? I ended up making muffins since my bread pan ran off (the floozy!), but at least this way I got to snag a few muffins for myself and share them with some male friends. Jim said he doesn’t normally care for banana bread, but he devoured mine and especially liked “the stuff on the top.” And Matt, who doesn’t like any food at all, more or less, said the muffin he ate was “like a golden biscuit.” So boys apparently love banana bread. Who knew? And here they are pictured on some hand-me-down plates from your mother.

I think bananas become overripe out of spite. They’re only good for a couple days, and then you have to figure out what to do with them now. I usually freeze them and make banana smoothies, but my blender is on the blink (nothing works in my house!), so I had to find something else to do with my overripe bananas. Banana-Oatmeal Power Cookies showed me the light.

What I especially like about these cookies is you can trick yourself into thinking you’re eating something healthy. In the cookbook, they even suggest you take them on a hike. If that doesn’t imply healthiness, I don’t know what does.

Adjustments: I’ve made them just as the recipe tells me to, and they are delicious that way, but I made some adjustments this time because I didn’t have all the ingredients in my pantry. Instructions to include unsalted butter are flat-out ignored nearly every time. I know it’s fresher and less salty, but lightly salted butter is a permanent fixture in my house, so I generally go with what I have. Coconut got omitted, walnuts became pecans, dried apricots or raisins were dried cranberries. I might prefer that last substitution and permanently replace raisins with cranberries for these cookies and every other food always. Dried cranberries are tart and wonderful. Raisins are sugary and terrible. Everybody knows it.

Assessment: I usually don’t like my cookies chock full of stuff, but I like these. Everyone likes these. They’re sort of like a chewy, more interesting banana bread if banana bread decided to turn itself into a cookie.