The Cooking Critic

I have come to an important conclusion: people are hungry for brunch recipes. What first tipped me off (actually, what solely tipped me off) was the amount of hits my various brunch recipes received from my Easter brunch post. I knew that brunch was a popular activity for many, but I didn’t realize that making brunch was also popular. Far be it for me to deny the public what they want. If they want brunch recipes, goshdarnit, they’ll get them.

While I’m a big fan of brunch myself, I’m not a big fan of cooking in the mornings, or even mid-mornings for that matter, which perhaps led me to my earlier erroneous assumption that everybody preferred dining out for brunch instead of dining in—everybody’s like me, right? I’m exceedingly slow out of the gate when I wake up, and often I can’t be bothered with anything more than eating a piece of fruit. My other staples include: yogurt, banana smoothies (before my blender abruptly died and left me very lonely) and oatmeal with brown sugar, dried cranberries and flaxseed mixed in. The latter is about as labor-intensive as I get for breakfast, until now. Since I’ve determined the world wants brunch recipes, I’ll attempt at least one a month. Yes, I’m doing this for you.

My first once-a-month-public-brunch-promise selection wasn’t difficult. I had some goat cheese in the refrigerator, and I came across a Savory Bread Pudding with Goat Cheese and Ham recipe. It was sufficiently different from the usual brunch recipes, and I was intrigued by the idea of a savory bread pudding, having only had sweet ones before. I’m sure you’re intrigued too. And I hope you’re not scrunching your nose at the thought of goat cheese or bread pudding because I’ve known people to do that before. But I certainly wouldn’t expect that of you. (You’re my favorite by the way. Shhh, don’t tell the others.)

Of course, there was still the can’t-think-in-the- mornings-much-less-cook issue to deal with it, which was solved easily enough by making this a dinner entrée. In fact, it became an impromptu dinner party, very similar to my last dinner party. Savory Bread Pudding with Goat Cheese and Ham was substituted for the Green Beans and Saffron Pasta, and all the other elements remained the same: Trader Joe’s Dips for appetizers, Hearts of Palm Salad as an accompaniment and Raspberry Brownies for dessert. Why mess with a formula that works? And I suspect the reason this dish isn’t pictured in the cookbook is because it doesn’t photograph so well, as I’ve learned. Try not to hold this against it. And don’t laugh at my pathetic attempt to scatter ham evenly. You would think I’d try a little harder knowing I’m going to photograph the evidence later….

Adjustments: As you can see above, I separated the ham and olives into different sections to satisfy dueling palates: vegetarians vs olive haters. Also, I found the recipe could use more goat cheese, ham and olives, but maybe this was because I used a long dish, instead of the deep one called for and this spread out the flavors of the fixins more than usual.

Assessment: Maggie dubbed this sophisticated comfort food, and I thought the olives, goat cheese and ham were a nice sharp/salty/tangy combination. Also, since I get bored easily with the regular brunch fare at restaurants (sometimes I want more options than pancakes and omelets), this dish gets major bonus points for originality. But while not difficult, it is a time commitment with an hour baking time in the oven. If I were to make this again, and I certainly would if I found myself with a log of goat cheese in the refrigerator, I would see how it works cooked up like a French toast sandwich, which would take a lot less time and is basically what it tasted like.

Being able to make Risotto Pancakes is one of the great joys of making risotto in the first place. You get to eat leftovers with minimal prep time, but you don’t feel like you’re eating leftovers. In fact, it seems like you’re eating something completely new and wonderful. It’s a great trick to play on yourself.

I’m sure there are some restaurants in the world that have risotto pancakes on the menu, but I’ve never encountered them. I’ve encountered some supplì before (essentially, fried risotto balls with cheese and maybe some sort of veggies stuffed in the middle), and I’ve promised myself over and over that I will take on the labor-intensive task of supplì, but when I have leftover risotto in the fridge, I always end up doing the much easier and quite tasty Risotto Pancakes. It’s hard not to love something that you get to flatten with a spatula and crisps up on the outside.

Assessment: I love Risotto Pancakes, but these weren’t as spectacular the ones I’ve made before. I think it’s my fault because I used half the risotto called for in the recipe but all the egg. These were still good, just a little egg-y. This time, too, I shaped the pancakes from the Easy Risotto I made a few days before (an excellent use of Easy Risotto if ever there was one), and I served Avocado Salad, which I have become completely addicted to, as the accompaniment.

Blue cheese has a big personality. He’s a little obnoxious, truth be told, but he does liven up a salad. Still, he can be so overpowering that not everybody likes him. I’ve found many people so strongly opposed to blue cheese, that I actually crumble it up in a bowl and serve it on the side rather than sprinkling it in the serving bowl with the salad. That way the blue cheese haters can go about their business. Navigating a salad with blue cheese present when you’re trying to avoid him can be tricky, indeed.

It took me a while to warm up to blue cheese myself, but I like him now. Still, a hunk of blue cheese goes a long way, and I’m only going to eat so many salads. This leaves me trying to find other uses for this pungent dairy product. Spinach with Blue Cheese and Pasta is one.

Adjustments: I like spinach, so I add 3 handfuls of it instead of 2. I’d even consider 4 handfuls!

Assessment: Quick and satisfying, and a good way to use your blue cheese. I don’t think I would purchase the product specifically to make this dish, but I’ll happily make it when I already have some in the house. It’s a good, hearty, easy pasta meal to eat before a night out on the town. But it doesn’t reheat very well—the sauce tends to take the form of its former crumbly blue cheese self once placed in the fridge.

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Lasagna is one of the most overrated dishes that has ever existed in the history of mankind. This, I realize, is a big, bold statement, but I think I can say it with confidence. Despite the fact I’ve thought this for at least eight years now (ever since a particularly atrocious date that, no, I don’t believe has overly influenced my feelings regarding lasagna,) I still feel compelled to order it on occasion. In general, I prefer to order something new and intriguing, but sometimes the idea of cheese, red sauce and noodles proves too much, and I end up with a slab of lasagna in front of me. And then I remember I’m not that into lasagna, despite all the glorious cheese.

But all lasagnas aren’t created equal. My cousin, Wendy, for example, makes an excellent, particularly well-balanced lasagna that had me returning for seconds before others had finished getting their firsts. (Honestly, you should just stay out of my way when I’m hungry.) Since I had some polenta firming up in the fridge from an earlier recipe, I decided to try the Polenta Lasagna with Tomatoes and Peppers recipe that had always caught my eye in American Bistro, despite how stupidly long it was. I’m pretty sure that using Prego instead of making a homemade tomato and pepper sauce doesn’t count as a significant change that entitles me to name the dish my own, but I’m going to anyways: Christine’s Cheesy Polenta and Spinach Tower.

Adjustments: So I didn’t take the dental floss and slice the polenta down the middle like I was told to, and this is probably why my lasagna looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa (or, rather, the Leaning Tower of Chees-a—hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha, man, I’m funny.) In the future, I will use dental floss, as instructed—at the very least, it probably makes for a much prettier presentation. Since I had plans to go out this evening, there was no way on God’s green earth that I was going to make a homemade red sauce (so I did not include that recipe here.) So Prego it was! Also, I didn’t follow the polenta instructions, which don’t vary much from recipe to recipe anyways, as far as I can tell. I used my already prepared polenta, which I made this way, though American Bistro’s version sounds good to me with their onions and their garlic. But honestly, I wouldn’t hesitate to use pre-made polenta with this, especially if I’m making it for just myself or perhaps one other person that I’m not overly concerned about impressing. There are so many other things going on with this dish, I can’t imagine anyone would notice. Except maybe those polenta experts you have over on occasion.

Assessment: I enjoyed myself more than I normally do when it comes to this dish, perhaps because I fulfilled both my mysterious desire for lasagna and my more understandable desire to try something new. The dish is very, very filling, yet the recipe writers were right that a light, fluffy filling of spinach and ricotta is a nice foil for the denser, richer polenta. And when you ignore half the directions on this particular recipe (by using pre-cooked polenta and tomato sauce from a jar,) it is, in fact, simple to prepare, even though they seem to be trying their hardest to convince you otherwise. Still, with assembly time and 30 minutes cooking in the oven, describing it as “relatively easy” does feel like a stretch. I assume when people think of “easy,” they’re thinking “nearly instant.” This dish is certainly not that.

I think Polenta is a little full of himself. Just because he has a better PR agent than grits doesn’t make him any better than other ground corn products. But I surprised myself the other day when I nearly spontaneously decided to make some polenta. I wanted something hearty and comforting. I never thought of polenta as comforting before, but here I am calling him up after ignoring him for so long. Polenta with Parmesan Cheese, I’m sorry. You have a lot of good qualities. No, I’m not just really bored right now. We can still be friends. (Relationships are so complicated.)

So Williams-Sonoma supplied the recipe for this one, and because Williams-Sonoma is sort of a fancypants, he recommended using regular polenta and stirring it for hours (okay, just 25 minutes, but that’s a long time!) I was not into this recommendation. I ignored Williams-Sonoma and decided to use instant polenta instead. I’m sure the real thing tastes better, but I had a complete meal in roughly 10 minutes, and that’s worth something too. (My polenta looks a little bit like an egg experiment gone awry, no?)

Adjustments: Initially, I cooked according to the instructions on the instant polenta box, then switched to Williams-Sonoma for the extras. And per usual, I substituted Parmesan with Asiago. I always return Asiago calls. He’s so dreamy.

Assessment: Satisfying, but it tasted a lot like grits to me, as it should since polenta and grits are essentially the same thing (corn!) It seemed a little strange eating asparagus with my grits…er, I mean polenta, but not in a bad way. I like the idea of adding mushrooms, as Williams-Sonoma suggests in another recipe. I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up making this dish again. And look at the adorable wine glasses my landpeople/landcouple gave me. (What’s the plural of landlord when it involves two people of different genders? Anyone?)

There are few things in life more satisfying than a good dumpling. Actually, there are few things in life more satisfying than a mediocre dumpling for that matter. I make my dumplings with Bisquick, and I’m not afraid to admit it. They puff up nice and fluffy as you please, and I toss in a little parsley to throw people off the Bisquick scent. In fact, I bet you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between my Bisquick dumplings and somebody else’s homemade dumplings. Actually, I’m sure some people could tell the difference, but I suspect those people aren’t reading my blog. Not now anyways. Someday they will. Some day THE WHOLE WORLD will be reading my blog. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! And I will hold them in thrall with my ruminations on dumplings. (You are getting very sleepy. You like dumplings. Dumplings are your friend.)

So while the Better Homes New Cookbook provided the base for this Chicken Stew with Dumplings (they even recommended I use Bisquick, more or less), Cooking Light provided some ideas for additional flavor, so I’m citing them here. Cite your sources, people! Don’t plagiarize like my students like to do sometimes. Boo, plagiarism!

Adjustments: I sautéed fresh celery and onions and garlic instead of using frozen onions, frozen vegetables and garlic powder. Dill was my fresh herb of choice for this dish since I had some around. And add 2 tablespoons of sherry at the end for additional flavor.

Assessment: Not the most amazing Chicken ’n Dumplings I’ve ever made but good, and I felt very, very comforted. I make this dish differently every time, but I think my most successful rendition (and also the most time-consuming) took heavily from Emeril’s TV Dinners, which uses heavy cream, made-from-scratch dumplings and fresh jalapeños, among other ingredients—I hear he likes to kick things up a notch.

Nigel Slater likes to call this dish Pappardelle with Olive Paste and Gruyère. I didn’t include the pappardelle, olive paste or Gruyère but still used this recipe as a base for dinner one night. The word on the street is if you make three major changes to a recipe, you can call it your own. I’m not sure if my changes count as major, but I’ll name the dish just in case: Christine’s Veggie-Crunch Pasta. Not sure I like that. Feel free to submit better names.

Adjustments: I like pappardelle just as much as the next guy, which is basically the widest noodle you’ve ever seen, but it’s not the easiest noodle to find, so I used fettuccine instead. I’ve made the dish using the 1/3 cup black olive paste, and it’s good that way, but this time I used Trader Joe’s Roasted Vegetable Tapenade, and since you don’t have to worry about the overwhelming flavor of olives–olives can be bullies and gang up on you sometimes–go crazy and use 3/4’s cup if you want. Instead of pine nuts (expensive!), I use pumpkin seeds, and about 3 tablespoons instead of the 1 suggested since I hunt down the pumpkins seeds when I eat this dish because I like the slight crunch. And instead of Gruyère I used Asiago. Sweet, sweet Asiago. So basically I changed everything in this 5-ingredient meal except the olive oil. There isn’t a thing wrong with olive oil. (Anyone catch the shout-out to Junebug? Amy Adams was robbed! But Rachel Weisz is an excellent actress as well—I don’t want to piss Rachel off. I’m sure she reads my blog all the time. And I want her to know that I have a bias toward Southern actors and actresses or non-Southerners who play Southerners in all their complexity with a credible accent. Rachel is a Brit playing a Brit. Nothing Southern about that.)

Assessment: I wouldn’t plan a dinner party around this dish or anything, but it’s a great, satisfying meal to eat on my own. Prep work amounts to very little, so I’m going to put this dish in the “(Relatively) Easy” category, but since you have to boil (6 minutes) and bake (15-20 minutes), you will end up waiting a little while for your supper. Don’t worry, it’s worth it. And I don’t have a picture of this dish, but I do have a picture of my gleaming kitchen. I mopped! And those dishes in the sink are clean, drying dishes, I’ll have you know.

Macaroni and cheese isn’t something I’d typically serve as a meal to a friend, but Shahan Sannossian caught me on a strange day. I had planned on making him a homemade tomato soup, but my stomach was bothering me and didn’t like the thought of a meal composed nearly entirely of acidic tomatoes. My stomach much preferred the thought of the always-comforting mac and cheese. Of course, you can’t just dump a box of macaroni in a boiling water and call it dinner (at least when company is involved), so I figured out a way to make it presentable.

I used Trader Joe’s Aged White Cheddar Macaroni and Cheese for my Fancified Macaroni and Cheese and included prosciutto, cooked spinach, white asparagus (though green asparagus is prettier and broccoli also works well), tomatoes, bread crumbs and cheese—I used white cheddar on one effort and Asiago on a second. And I’m going to include this in the vegetarian category since it’s easy enought to leave out the prosciutto. The recipe looks long, but that’s only because I have instructions for deseeding and deskinning tomatoes in there, which is not nearly as laborious at it sounds but does take a small paragraph to explain. Be sure to add or subtract any ingredient that suits your fancy.

Assessment: I can’t really assess the Trader Joe’s product on its own since I always add a ton of stuff to it, but it makes a great base for my Fancified Macaroni and Cheese. Shahan liked it and said he would even make it himself. And he’s a boy. Everyone knows that boys don’t cook, so that’s a solid endorsement. I’d like to thank the Academy and Williams-Sonoma Simple Recipes for the inspiration.

So I decided to try out one of my avocados to make sure their texture will be perfect come Guac Bowl. (They will.) For those of you unfamiliar with this event, some call it the Super Bowl of guacamoles. It’s a whole lot of mashed avocados in one room.

I’ve gotten to know the avocado pretty well since I moved to California and find they’re pretty finicky creatures. They either like to be in tact surrounded by their knobby skin, or they want to be in your stomach. They’ll hang out in guacamole for a while, but even there they’ll turn beige from boredom if left to their own devices for too long. A squeeze of lemon can do only so much. So you can’t leave an avocado hanging. You have to eat the whole thing.

One Half of the Avocado for Lunch
What I like about this Quesadilla recipe is it makes me feel like I’m really making an effort because it’s in a cookbook, but all I’m doing is making a Mexican grilled cheese sandwich with some extra bits stuffed in there. God bless Williams-Sonoma for including this recipe in their fancy entertaining cookbook.

I didn’t bother taking a picture because all quesadillas look the same from the outside. It’s the inside that matters (avocado, cilantro, green onions and cheese).

Adjustments: Cheddar for the Monterey Jack, and I threw chicken into this normally vegetarian dish since I have a roast chicken hanging out in my fridge. And who has time to roast, peel and derib poblano peppers at lunctime? Not I. So no peppers for me.

Assessment: As easy as a meal can get. Tastes good too. Add Mexican rice, refried beans and/or a salad to make more substantial.

The Other Half for Dinner
I had this beef and broccoli meal all planned for tonight, but it just wasn’t feeling like a beef and broccoli kind of night. I needed to use the rest of that avocado, and I wasn’t that hungry after running anyways, and then I remembered the Avocado Salad recipe I discovered over the summer. It was exactly what I wanted and made me happy beyond reason.

Adjustments: I never bother to cut up bacon or prosciutto before cooking, which this and many other recipes suggest—it’s too much of a pain to turn over all the little bits when frying them up. I cook it in slabs, then chop it up afterwards. Also, I think the vinaigrette could use a squeeze of lemon, so it got one.

Assessment: I especially like this dish in summer (from the appropriately named book Easy Summer Cooking); it’s light and refreshing. It tasted good tonight in the midst of the frigid Los Angeles winters we have too. And it’s easy. But I’m sad the battery in my camera died—my creation looked just like the picture in the book.

Polenta inspires nothing in me. Basically, I think they’re glorified grits. But for whatever reason, the Polenta Fries in CHOW (a hip, new food magazine that you should check out) spoke to me. Actually, I think the cheese wine dipping sauce spoke to me, but I had to have something to dip into it, so I figured might as well make the fries too. And an excuse for a dinner party was born!

Maggie Flynn and Shahan Sanossian joined me for a little vegetarian antipasto feast. I let them be taste testers for the guacamole I’m entering in Guac Bowl ’06 (tremble in fear those competing against me). Then we ate our Polenta Fries with Fontina Fondue, and I provided two healthy dishes to prevent us from having massive coronaries: Roasted Eggplant & Peppers accompanied by Tomato Salad with Basil-Honey Vinaigrette (both from the Williams-Sonoma Complete Entertaining Cookbook.)

Also, I made an Apricot Brandy Pound Cake from the Junior League Open House cookbook. I don’t know why I keep trying to convince myself I like pound cake. It’s a homely little dessert. Nothing to it. If I’m going to add some fat to my body, I’d rather do it with something that’s creamy or rich or chocolately or something. Pound cake is too vanilla for me, which I feel is actually an insult to vanilla because it’s far more interesting than pound cake.

Adjustments: I bought pre-cooked polenta (instead of cooking up instant per the instructions,) and despite my last minute freak-out that it would be horrendous and inedible, and I wouldn’t have enough decent food to serve my guests, it turned out quite good. I cut the roll of polenta into discs, dipped them in flour, and fried away (actually, Shahan did the frying.) Really, what wouldn’t taste good like that? Also I served the pound cake with a couple strawberries and an easy Apricot Sauce (hit the link and scroll down to “Topping Ingredients.”) It helped gussy up the presentation and the taste.

Assessment: Polenta fries and fondue are really yummy, but not the easiest dinner party undertaking because you have to do two things last minute (fry polenta, make fondue). It helps to have laid-back dinner guests who don’t mind helping. (I recommend Shahan and Maggie.) Tomato Salad is really easy and flavorful, and you can’t screw it up. Roasted Eggplant isn’t a show-stopper but a respectable side all the same. It’s good too because you can make it in advance and it’s not hard–but peeling off the skins of the eggplant and peppers is kind of a pain. And I think I prefer it on toasted bread, which is how I’ve been eating the leftovers. The pound cake tastes like pound cake. And despite the fact that I’ve determined I’ll never make another pound cake as long as I live, I still find myself intrigued by this version of a Apricot Brandy Pound Cake, which I ran across after making my own. It incorporates dry whipped topping mix into the batter.